Overwhelmed

Sometimes I over-eat....trying to smother the bad feelings.
Sometimes I watch sad tv/movies....trying to cry away the bad feelings.

I've learned to pray....to give up the bad feelings.

None of these is working tonight.

Now my stomach hurts.  I can't stop the tears but I'm not really crying either. I've said the same prayer over and over. I know it by heart. God knows it, and I'm pretty sure he just wants me to stop. But I can't. So. Now my brain is running in circles. I want to stay up late and watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't think I can actually sleep. Staying on the sofa isn't the answer.


Also. I may be going crazy. Today got to me.