June 10, 2007

I'm not distant...I'm sleepy.

I've been keeping odd hours lately. Well, odd hours for me. Up until somewhere between 2 am and 4 am...then maybe I'll go to sleep. There might be a nap somewhere in the late afternoon. Then I have to be awake until those ungodly hours again...and again...and again.

Some of this is just general summer laziness and some is me gorging myself on social. There have been things to do and people to see almost every night. This is good...this is what I craved. Now, I just need to scale back and find some balance.

I, also, need to know the rules of the game. It seems that some people are just assuming I know which game they are playing. They have expectations of me and my actions, but aren't telling me of them. I can play almost any relationship (this stretches from casual acquaintance to as committed as they come) game there is...as long as I know the rules. This lording knowledge and expectations over me is silly, especially when the same people appear to have reserved the right to be all hurt and pouty when I can't/don't react the way they want me to. It's just drama. I really only appreciate drama in movies, books, or t.v. Life is messy and dramatic enough on its own...people don't need to create more.

Maybe people should just tell me if they want something from me? Until then I'm going to revel in my apparent distant-ness and take a nap.....or do laundry...maybe both.