Things I need to remember...

...Especially when I go out dancing:

1. Even though the bar may be smoke-free, the fog machines will still mess with my eyes and lungs.

2. Corsets are my only "clubbing" outfits...and they are freakin' hard to get into on my own.

3. The waitress may not understand (and her questioning looks are totally worth it) but ordering water works for me.

4. Leave it to me to attract the gay boy, the straight girl, and anyone else who needs saving.

5. Corsets are an oddity in the bar scene. People don't understand why I can't bend in the middle. Or that my breasts aren't fake.

6. After an hour or two, make - up looks super fake on me.

7. Prince is a godsend to the dance floor of my life.

8. I can't hear. Sign language or personal space invasion is a must.

9. Pertaining to five....girls will grope my breasts in the bathroom...not in a fun way, but in a "where'd you get those?" sort of way.

10. Washing my face and putting on jammies is a very satisfying moment.