Lady's MS has flared up again. This time it seems to be fueled by the medications which she just recently started taking again.
She hasn't been this bad in a long time. Her emotions are off the charts. I spent an entire 2 hour conversation trying to calm her down enough that I could actually understand what she was saying. She was crying that hard.
I feel so useless and frustrated. Even when I was close by these moods were hard to deal with, but at least then I could go visit...maybe get her out of the house...distract her. I'm worthless now. There isn't a damn thing I can do. I hate this feeling. That someone I love NEEDS me and I am powerless.
I'm also upset with myself. Underneath everything I resent her...and her sickness. Yes, I know she didn't choose to become ill. But she did. My mother is forever changed because of this. I hate that I can't make it through a conversation about ms with her without becoming angry at her overly-emotional state.
I want my mommy!
November 11, 2006
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*hugs*
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