September 28, 2006

Warning: rant ahead.

Why? Why does most everyone seem to think I have little to no life? Why does it matter if I'm dating anyone or not? What happened to it being my choice?

I'm tired of everyone I come into contact with trying to hook me up. It would be one thing if I was honestly looking...or if these hookups were anywhere near appropriate. I don't need my principal, coworkers, friends, or acquaintances from the gym involved in my love life.

Your forty year old, doctor son will not make me an ideal mate. How do I know? I don't. I don't care to know. Something about your eagerness to set him up makes me wonder what's wrong with him. If he's so great, why hasn't he been snatched up?

No, finding me a local date will not keep me around as a teacher. That would mean staying in this town. I've tried the dating scene here. How is it possible that you'd know someone fitting for me when you circle of available men are part of the lake/club culture. And no...I don't want to be set up with the thug parole officer who comes to check the kids every week.

What part of...there are huge portions of my life that we don't discuss because they make you uncomfortable...makes you think that your visiting college football buddy and I will hit it off?

I just hate the assumptions. Either I'm involved with someone or I'm not. If I'm not...why not? What's wrong with me?

I wasn't feeling lonely or bad about my choice to be single until this crap started again. I don't mind once in a while, but every time you see/talk to me is too much. Back the hell off! Now, thanks to this, not only do I feel irrational, over emotional, and slightly dumb...but I'm also aware of being alone. Damn.


Big Gay Jim said...

Sometimes alone is the right place to be. I'm so proud of you for taking control of your own life and holding onto it. That self-reliance and independence is a great achievement and one you should be very proud of. I know how long you've worked toward it, baby girl. YOU GO! The right person will notice THAT when you least expect it. (I's cliche...but you know I'm speaking from experience.)

His Sinfulness said...

While it's irritating, folks wanting to hook you up can be seen as a compliment. Perhaps they see good qualities in you and think that you are suck a catch that they want to hook you up with their friends...

It's a rationalization, but who can get through the day without a few of those? :)

His Sinfulness said...

Cursed typos! That should be "...SUCH a catch..."

M.Matthew said...

Hey Fishy. I know that it wont make it any easyier to feel what your feeling but I have been where you are. Alone is always tough, but every human worth anything has "walked through the desert" alone at some time in their lives. It's ok. I spent 5 years there. That was not fun, but I know myself much better for it and I know that I don't NEED anyone to make me happy. Just a bottom to beat every now and again.

You are one of the most alive people I have ever met. I worry about a lot of things but one thing I dont worry about is that you are going to find your mate. It's going to happen, just not while your living white trash heaven.

And you will always have hilz and I, for what thats worth. Sorry but we're like cant ever get rid of us. Good news is that with new medication you will only have to experence the occasional MM and hilz flareup which can be treated with a course of hemp rope.

So there is that at least. you Fishy


Macknzie said...

I totally agree. If someone is known to be looking, that's one thing, but otherwise the setup ambush is a no-no.

I do have to say, though, that the lack of a snap-up doesn't really mean something. I like to think I'm a reasonably good catch, and I haven't been caught.

Of course, I don't think I've been thrown, either, but you see my point.