August 02, 2011

That time...

Once a month, for about a week or so, I become a walking cliche....a stereotype. A bitching woman with PMS. Gaaa! I hate this. I used to be so proud that generally I didn't have any of those symptoms. Sure I got cramps, but nothing that would alter my mood. I wasn't irrationally angry for a week. Nothing. You probably wouldn't even know it was my time unless I'd said something about cramps.

But apparently, not any more. Now it's like clock work. I can see people steeling themselves preparing for battle. Well, maybe not people, but my husband at least. It frustrates me beyond all belief to see and feel an argument over something honestly inane coming on and not be able to do anything. On top of that is the fight itself. Another thing I hate. I don't pick fights over things that matter to me. I bitch about surface level things that only matter a small amount. Large fights. No reason. I can even recognize there is no reason during the argument...that doesn't stop it.

I've tried a few things to help keep me more even keeled. But they only help when my body is behaving the way it should....which is only about half the time it seems. With my weight loss, periods have been a whole new experience. I'm sure the marked increase in PMS symptoms is part of that. 

On top of everything, picking fights leaves me in a grumpy mood for hours if not days after. Gee, just what everyone needs! But then, a troublesome bit of my brain kicks in and all will power is gone. I go back to comfort over eating. Self- sabotage. I know it. I am nearly powerless to avoid it.  Which then leads to more grumpiness but dammit why can't I control myself. I worked hard to lose this weight. No gaining it back. And Wham! The cycle continues.

I hate PMS!