May 07, 2008

Sanity? None here, thanks.

I'm not domestic. No, really. I've managed to only cultivate cleaning skills as a way of surviving and being clean in the world. I'm not one of those people who enjoys it. I try to clean up after myself, but do occasionally fall prey to laziness. I've been known to leave dirty dishes in the sink...sometimes for a couple days. I'm not always the quickest at cleaning up spills and crumbs. Random side not here, upon reflection messes such as dirty clothes or piles of books/paper/things bother me infinitely less than kitchen messes. Something with the connotation of the word kitchen implies clean.

When I feel extremely stressed my body does strange things. Some times I'll become physically ill, or my body does a depression like shut-down need for sleep thing. Apparently, I also can become crazy. I'm pretty sure I'm just stressing about stuff that is now everyday...and currently out of my hands...but it seems to have built up to the point where I have to now let the crazy out.

I've been cleaning the kitchen in insanity driven spurts for the last two nights. Realistically, if I was dedicated or obsessed enough I'd get it all done in one night...but... Last night it started with needing to find clean space to put a loaf of bread down. The counter was packed with dishes (some clean some not so) and crumbs. Everywhere. I don't know how to explain. Suddenly, just wiping the crumbs off was not enough. Things needed to be moved, washed out, thrown out, put away.....while Teel was busy preparing dinner.

Random thought number two: I think some of this may be latent nesting. I'm still getting used to this being my house. I'm aware that I've been using the kitchen for six months now, but most things in the kitchen aren't mine...or don't feel like me yet. I didn't get to pick what goes where (that was already established) I don't always know what actually is where and often the other people who live here can't tell me. My favorite answer is "open things up." I don't know where things go and am somewhat bothered by the amount of things that just seem to find permanent homes on the counter (not appliances, but things).

Tonight, the cleaning frenzy included some other counter space and the stove top (which is currently soaking in 409 while I'm typing). Oh! And the outside of the trash can was wiped down....all started because I went back to clean the sauce pan from dinner.


It's official. The insanity was spotted by others. Teel: "Are you alright? You are acting a bit crazy." Me: "It's icky!"