January 20, 2007

Is it necessarily bad to be selfish?

This is something I've been struggling with a lot recently. I've always believed the adage of "If you love something, let it go, and if it returns it was meant to be." Though, to my heart and mind, it has been more of a "If you love something, let it go. Let it be/do what it is supposed to. Let it happen as it will." The first appears to be more selfish, to me. It is written with the idea that a hope/dream/wish of that object's return embedded within. My version feels less self-centered, but depending on your state of mind/heart a lot of same hope/dream/wish could be read into it. Also, recently I was reminded of one biblical view of love...that it is never selfish. In the past, recent-ish and not so,that seemed to be the view I took. I know, and it was pointed out by a very wise person, that I was not selfish enough in my past relationships. I was more than willing to give and give and work and struggle and whatever else was needed. Once, I gave so much I forgot who I was, and wanted to be, for several years. It didn't matter. I was willing to give everything. I did. But what if being selfish occasionally isn't bad or wrong? What if it's a positive form of self-protection? That by being selfish I'm recognizing there is something wrong...some lack...and perhaps looking for a way to fix it...Or at the very least trying to determine what the outcome should be. Is it wrong to be selfish? Is it wrong to be mindful and protective or your heart?

2 comments:

Shroom-Monkey said...

Love is crazy hard, and not matter how you define it or not define it, it should come down the this: Love should be mutual, equal and respectful. We shouldn't have to give so much we loose touch with who we are, and we shouldn't have to take so much crap we can't focus on basically anything. I think when it is right you just know.... and when it is wrong, it feels more like work. And I don't think you should have to work at love....

nice post, good question....

Mandy said...

Thank you. Welcome to my part of the blogverse. *grin*