January 15, 2007

Almost halfway...

My birthday is coming up, soon. Two and a half days to be exact. I've been thinking a bit more than usual about this birth marker. Usually, I am a supporter of the "it's your birthday - you're allowed to be selfish...for the day" camp. I want a party. I want people gathered in celebration. I want dancing. On some level I still do want those things. What's a birthday without some celebration? And yes, I know that there is a vague plan to have a party later....and that it is hard to celebrate when my birthday falls in the middle of the week, but that isn't what this is about.

I'm turning 30. Thirty. 3-0.

Honestly, I never imagined I'd reach this age. Not because of anything awful that I did during my life, or anything that could have happened. I just didn't know how to picture it. I still don't. I'm not sure what thirty is supposed to be. It sounds so official...so grown-up. It feels like I should have everything together and be ready.

I'm not entirely sure I know what my 20's were about. How can I deal with 30?

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Over the course of the last few days, I've received a about a dozen birthday cards....all of which were apologizing for being late. Even more entertaining is the fact that most of these are from family.

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Sometime during my sleep I decided that worrying to much about this is just silly. I'll be thirty no matter what and that I should just enjoy the moments. That was always my plan...and is still my plan.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well if it's consolation, always thought of you as younger than me. Don't believe your age.

Mandy said...

Thank you Clay. Though honestly, it doesn't have to be a consolation. I'm not upset at turning 30 (even though the post does read that way)...just not sure what 30 is supposed to be.

~ the hilzy one ~ said...

Muah ha ha.
I am so plotting against you.
Be scared. Be very scared.

Muah. Ha. Ha.
Love you!