Mandyland

Overwhelmed

2012-02-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I over-eat....trying to smother the bad feelings.
Sometimes I watch sad tv/movies....trying to cry away the bad feelings.

I've learned to pray....to give up the bad feelings.

None of these is working tonight.

Now my stomach hurts. I can't stop the tears but I'm not really crying either. I've said the same prayer over and over. I know it by heart. God knows it, and I'm pretty sure he just wants me to stop. But I can't. So. Now my brain is running in circles. I want to stay up late and watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't think I can actually sleep. Staying on the sofa isn't the answer.

Also. I may be going crazy. Today got to me.

And the bad

2012-01-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it really sucks to work with At-Risk kids. This is especially true when you find out that they haven't overcome the risks.

Near the end of the last school year I found out that a former student of mine did something exceedingly stupid. He tried to steal a laptop from a little girl on the street. Sadly, she wouldn't let go of her laptop and was drug behind the car...killing her. The boy, and the his friend with him, were caught and thrown in prison.

A facebook message tonight alerted me to the fact that my student will probably never see the outside world again. He was charged with murder 1 and a couple of other charges including trafficing.

I don't know how to feel about this. He was (as far as I knew him) a good kid who just deserved a chance. But, I'm also glad that he will be paying the consequences for this.

DIY

2012-01-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

Score! One of the major hurddles I have / had in my crocheting is the ability, or lack there of, to count stitches. It seems reasonable to me to believe that if I start off with the right number of stitches and match the length of the chain....then the new bit should be the same number of stitches. This is not always the case. A good portion of my crocheting becomes wobbly edged and stretched out.

But, I sucked it up. Learned how to count. And have produced one super cute, imho, pair of fingerless gloves.

A New Year

2011-12-31T12:57:00.001-07:00

Out with the old. In with the new. ~ A fresh start. ~ Time to make some resolutions! ~ Time to reevaluate.

I don't really know which philosophy I ascribe to. They all seem reasonable....in some form or another. I can see how they would work for people. I also understand why many people cave and ditch the resolutions before the first month is even up. Change is hard. Admitting that you're flawed is hard. Asking for help, admitting you need help, getting help....it's all hard.

I don't usually make resolutions. But over the past two years I have set some goals for myself. Yes, I originally set these goals in January, but they weren't really New Year's resolutions. They were just things I wanted to work on.

Last year's goals: 1. Keep the weight off and get healthier. Check! (I feel really good about where I am and how my health is going.)
                            2. Relax. Try to curb the drastic mood swings and stress outs.   Check. (There has been a noted decrease in the amount of emotional craziness coming from me. Still a ways to go, though.)
                            3. Start listening and trusting in God, more.   Check. (This goes hand in hand with the stress thing and I'm positive that He is the peace I needed. Still a long journey here, too.)
                            4. Love.    Check!!
                            5. Evaluate and let go of things that weren't working for me. Check! (Book review blog gone. Trying to fit in with other's views of me as a Christian, Teacher, Woman.............mostly gone.)

For 2012 I'm putting my goals out for the world to see...

1. Faith (in God, in others, in myself)
2. Love
3. Japan (if you don't know...just wait, I'll explain sooner or later)
4. Travel (because I haven't really and I want to)
5. Write more (maybe if I practice more events like NaNoWriMo won't be so stressful.)
6. Be less judgmental (I am terribly judgmental (of people ~ real and on the internet) and honestly have no reason to be)
7. Read the books on my shelves. (My brain cracked last night and I had a fit about which book to read. Must read the unread books that are filling up four of my shelves before I buy/borrow more.)
8. Bike (Ride it more, fix it up a bit, enjoy it more often)
9. Crochet (do more, learn more, be less frustrated with something I enjoy)
10. Learn to sew (I would like to be able to make myself skirts and purses)

So there they are. My goals. They are not resolutions. They are not to the exclusion of everything else. They aren't taking the place of past goals. There is still a lot of work left to do on those. They are just goals....things to make me a better me. It will be interesting to come back next Dec 31 and see what these goals have become.

So you think you can protest?

2011-11-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

So, my Facebook, Google +, and Tumblr are filled with photos with messages like this right now:

And it pisses me off. Why? Not because I have some connection with the Westboro Baptist Church (in fact I loathe them for giving non-extremist Christians, and others, a bad rep.) but because people who are posting and agreeing with these pictures are being idiots.

Here's what I know. The WBC is very good at what it does. They have been doing it for years. Years! And yes the text in the pictures is correct...you won't see WBC getting tear gassed at their protests. Want to know why? THEY FOLLOW THE LAW! That's right. They set up their protests with the local cops. They occupy the spaces allowed for them only during the hours assigned to them. They don't touch others, they don't camp, and if a cop tells them to move....they do.

Your right to protest and your right to free speech are only yours when you are following all laws. You can't pick and choose which ones you want to follow.

Sure your protest might be peaceful, but if it is held in a city park that has posted closing hours and you stay later..........or if the city has an ordinance about no camping on public sidewalks, yet some of your protesters take naps........you are breaking a law. The police are within their rights to do something to correct the situation. Don't misunderstand, tear gassing a group of peaceful sit-in protesters is extreme and uncalled for. However, if the really story is out there somewhere, I bet it also tells of how the city has laws that the protesters are somehow violating.

I hate the internet pictures that get passed around like wildfire and just make those who are protesting something worthy look like idiots. Don't pass that stuff around. Be smart. Know the laws, get them on your side. The easiest way to win a fight with the law is show those in command that the law actually does include you.

***edit***

The same thoughts apply to the Facebook status posting of :

So the US Supreme Court has ruled that you have the right to protest military funerals. I invite you to start your protest in my front yard. We can see if your 1st Amendment rights are better than my 2nd Amendment rights. Re-post if you're a vet, love a vet, or just support vets...

I can guarantee that if this was actually to occur, you would be charged with homicide. Want to know why? You invited someone onto your property. You have given permission. If you then turn around and shoot those who are on your property with your permission.....homicide. Somehow I think murder trumps protesting in the hierarchy of law breaking.

NaNoWriMo 2011

2011-10-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my favorite times of year. Horror films, candy, and costumes....all of it awesome. The last few years have added a couple extra awesome things to this holiday. See, immediately after Halloween comes NaNoWriMo. I'm not the best at creative writing. (I know how strange that is....I like spinning yarns here on the blog, but that's different to me.) But I do love writing during November.

And then....after Halloween and NaNoWriMo.....Anniversary! December 1 = 4 years!

That time...

2011-08-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

Once a month, for about a week or so, I become a walking cliche....a stereotype. A bitching woman with PMS. Gaaa! I hate this. I used to be so proud that generally I didn't have any of those symptoms. Sure I got cramps, but nothing that would alter my mood. I wasn't irrationally angry for a week. Nothing. You probably wouldn't even know it was my time unless I'd said something about cramps.

But apparently, not any more. Now it's like clock work. I can see people steeling themselves preparing for battle. Well, maybe not people, but my husband at least. It frustrates me beyond all belief to see and feel an argument over something honestly inane coming on and not be able to do anything. On top of that is the fight itself. Another thing I hate. I don't pick fights over things that matter to me. I bitch about surface level things that only matter a small amount. Large fights. No reason. I can even recognize there is no reason during the argument...that doesn't stop it.

I've tried a few things to help keep me more even keeled. But they only help when my body is behaving the way it should....which is only about half the time it seems. With my weight loss, periods have been a whole new experience. I'm sure the marked increase in PMS symptoms is part of that.

On top of everything, picking fights leaves me in a grumpy mood for hours if not days after. Gee, just what everyone needs! But then, a troublesome bit of my brain kicks in and all will power is gone. I go back to comfort over eating. Self- sabotage. I know it. I am nearly powerless to avoid it. Which then leads to more grumpiness but dammit why can't I control myself. I worked hard to lose this weight. No gaining it back. And Wham! The cycle continues.

I hate PMS!

Surprise!

2011-05-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking and not checking the email account associated with my school blogs. I need to keep up with this better. I was contacted by someone from the BBC interested in the Canterbury Challenge project, I do with the English 7 students. I've emailed them back. Depending on what they say, this may up the levels on that project / class.

And I really need to start paying attention to that email! Maybe use it as my main account for google things and student interactions next year

Bugger all!

2010-12-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

Loosing the last 20 pounds is going to kill me. Well probably not really...but loosing this last little bit seems to be taking longer, and being more stubborn than the previous 40. Bah! As it is, I was supposed to hit the goal (according to the helpful app) the beginning of January. Yay birthday shopping! But now it appears to be the beginning of February.....so we'll see.

happiness is...

2010-10-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

...having to buy all new clothes because those you had are now uncomfortably big on you.
...being very very near your randomly chosen weight loss goal.
...knowing you will be able to (almost) easily reach the recommended weight goal.
...having a partner and friends who support you in this life change.

Something about Sunday

2010-09-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

There is just something. Something about Sunday. There is something about this particular Sunday...and other like it, that helps me slide into introspection. Today's topic seems to be friendship and or more accurately my homebody behavior.

I do this thing. I know I do it. It was pointed out to me in the past as being negative, but I no longer know if it is. I like to spend time with the person I love. Sometimes to the exclusion of all other people. I let the object of my affection take up all my time. This was a negative. Previously, this focused attention kept me from my friends, from others I adore, from places and events, and from myself.

I realized today that while I do have local friends, I don't often see most of them. The two or three people I consider to be my friends from work....I see daily there, but only once in a great while outside the school system. Friends from geek circles are usually only seen at geek events. The rest of the time I use twitter and facebook to keep up with them. Friends from kink circles have all but faded. There are still a few I consider friends, and keep in touch with, but yet again....it is only through twitter and facebook.

I don't even really call and chat with people.

I don't think my lack of social interaction is truly a negative thing, this time. Sure I spend most of my time with my husband, but that's good. We get along and are interested in many of the same things. I'm not missing events or people because of my time with him. We just don't go out often. A large portion of this is due to money....or lack there of. Some is location. We live in a different part of the valley than most of my friends. And another portion goes to time. My weekly schedule doesn't allow for much socialization on weekdays...even with Teel. Weekends are available, but then I have to get over my own personal homebody tendencies.

I'm usually much more willing to stay home and be comfy than drive across town to hang out for a couple hours.

I haven't decided where this post is going or has ended up. I don't know if I actually miss having a large group of friends that I saw daily....or if these small interactions are fine. I do know that there is something about this Sunday that is pointing out how much I miss having one or two close friends to just hang out with occasionally.

Something I'd fortten....

2010-09-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

Volleyball is fun, yo.

I forget sometimes that there is a sport that I actually enjoy playing. I'm not a good enough athelete to enjoy most sports...and I find little to no point in watching them on tv. But, every once in a while I'm given the opportunity to experience one for myself. This time it was in the form of a students vs. teachers lunchtime volleyball game. I was reminded that I'm good at serving, decent at the rest of the positions, and can take a fall without problems. The teachers won. The second game was called early when one of the students decided the roof of the school was feeling left out. Hopefully, it likes its new friend volleyball.

A walk in the doldrums

2010-09-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not depressed. At least I don't believe I am. I'm just dissatisfied with myself right now. I feel like I'm always snipping angrily, or I'm always tired. I don't do the things I decided I want to do each day.

For several days/weeks now the thought has been on the top of my to-do list, to get off my ass and update all my blogs. In particular this one, and my book blog. I especially hate the way no one comments on the book blog any more, but I can't really blame them...I haven't done anything community wise myself for over a year now.

I dislike that I've all but stopped working out. I'm down to maybe half an hour three times a week. This is my fault, I know. I need to make myself do it, but I'm finding the attraction of sitting like a lump after a day at school more relaxing than exercise. Along those lines, I hate that I'm still losing weight but my waist size has not gone down at all. When I look in the mirror I can see that I've lost weight...even around my waist, but measuring and by feel, I'm still carrying around the chub.

I know I shouldn't begrudge myself having to do homework...such as grading and prepwork. But this is the first time in four years, that I've had to bring home work almost every night and weekend. Usually, it is just once or twice a block. I'm not sure what the difference is. Yes, I'm teaching an extra class, but it is a class I don't have to prepare for. I show up and watch the kids take a class on the computer. I'm there to babysit and grade their essays. I'm also teaching science fiction, which seems to be taking a lot of prep time, but since I've revamped it that should come as no surprise. I just don't understand why this block is suddenly so much busier on the school front than before.

I thought I believed in God. I still feel that this and this choice in religion is right for me. But that is about all I know right now. I can't trust myself, my judgement, my faith. It's hard to believe in anything concerning God/Christianity right now. Even just thinking about it brings me to tears....and talking about it starts arguments, nearly nightly, with my husband.

I miss being the story teller I was. That's what this blog used to be. I had a way with words, or I thought I did. Now, I'm either babbling aimlessly or bitching.

I miss being the optimistic person I thought I was. I remember thinking / seeing the best in people....but that seems to have gone the way of snow in my life....non-existent.

The doldrums are a murky place, filled with traps that a girl could easily get lost in. I know I'm at least half-way through them....I can see the light....see the end. I just hope this isn't a trick.

Woot for Weightloss!

2010-08-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

So I was doing some math yesterday and I realized my numbers are great! When I started working out in February-March I was topping out at 205. I'd crossed that magical 200 number and hated it. I'm now at 180. That means that I've lost 25 pounds since then! I'm 11.5 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of summer. I'm 10 pounds lighter than I was when Teel and I got married. I'm only 5 pounds heavier than I was when I started college.....which means I'm probably only 10 pounds heavier than I was when I graduated high school. Go me! All of this means that if I stick to it, I may actually get to my first goal weight of 160 before Christmas! Which could lead to getting to my recommended BMI weight by the end of the school year. I think this might be the first time I've been happy about math!

Vegas and SanDiego

2010-08-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

Yay for vacations....even working ones! A few weeks ago we went on vacation. It started with a quick jaunt to Vegas were during the day I was holed up in an oh-so-excited education conference. Some good things came of it, but classes sure aren't what I think of when I think Vegas. We did do a bit of sight-seeing...I think we walked the entirety of the strip pretty much every night. Saw all the free shows, ate some awesome icecream at Serendipity 3, and hung out with Coley. She and her sister took us to a dive restaurant where I had my first taste of crawfish, shrimp w/heads n legs, and crab legs by the plastic bag full. Delishious, messy, and so much fun to catch up with her!

This is war! The shrimp brigades line up for battle. Or we were silly full after eating several pounds of sea bugs and this seemed like a good idea.

A much prettier picture - reunion!

And then there was comicon! SanDiego is quite the awesome place. We stayed in a strange little hotel right in the heart of Little Italy. And by strange I mean the elevator can barely hold two people comfortably and the toilet is on a landing a step higher than the rest of the bathroom. But it was a nice walk to and from with lots to see.

One of my favorite sights on the walk was that many of the overpasses had been decorated with old school video game characters, in tile. The one nearest the hotel was a space invader and a tiny lil Mario 1-up mushroom.

There was so much to see at the Comicon that I often didn't even think to take my camera out. Also, I was strangely disappointed in the lack of costumed people wandering around. I did snap a few photos, but really the most memorable....you know outside the fact that at one point I was in the same room as Nathan Fillion....was the amount of swag we walked away with. I had no idea that many of the vendors would be just giving away cool products. I was even more surprised to see that there were tons of publishers there...giving away ARCs! I was a bit discombobulated, it took a couple days, and much razzing from Teel, before I became comfortable enough to ask for the freebies. So much stuff! All in all I'm glad I went to the comicon, but I don't think I'll be going back any time soon.....too many people...too stress-filled...and line-filled. I'll stick to the Phoenix con.

Gift Card and book giveaway

2010-07-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

I'm running a contest on my book blog. It's for a $60 CSN gift certificate and a mystery book. You don't have to be a follower of the blog...so share the fun and enter!

Link to the giveaway!

Exercise on my mind

2010-07-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

I've never been one to be super obsessed with exercise, being a smaller size, or anything like that. Even now I'm happy with the way my body is overall. But this blog runs the risk of becoming one of those exercise / weight loss blogs. Lately, I've been on a health kick, am getting positive results, and think I'll stick with it.

Back in January, I realized I was becoming softer than I wanted to be. My ass was in danger of being shaped like my sofa! While I started working out then, I didn't get really serious about exercise until March. My SIL was on a workout kick at the time, and between her working out all the time and my being couch shaped I had to step up. Only this time Teel agreed to start working out with me, which helps with my motivation a lot.

Now, I'm down 15 lbs. since I started working out in March. I haven't done much adjustment in my eating. Fast food is almost out completely except for once in a blue moon things, more fresh fruits and veggies, and caffeine is out all together. I'm not really dieting, other than watching my calories through LoseIt.com. I have seriously bumped up my exercise routines now. Until a couple weeks ago I was doing somewhere between 3-6 hours of work out a day. Now, thanks to an unexpected case of food poisoning, I'm down to a more manageable 1-2 hours a day.

I don't do anything crazy for workouts.....generally. I did participate in a 4 week exercise boot camp. I loved it! Unfortunately, money won't let me continue with that. Otherwise, I walk, do routines and activities on the WiiFit, use the BowFlex for strength training, and just recently (like two days ago) bought a bike.

See....lots to do......lots to be proud of.......lots to make this an exercise blog. :)

Homebody

2010-06-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

I must be getting older. I don't think it is a bad thing, but it is definitely different than previously. I've become a homebody. Most nights and weekends I'm completely happy ....and usually more than willing to stay home. But every once in a while it become stir crazy. There is usually no explanation for it. Sometimes it is due to canceled dates, sometimes from talking to friends...or not talking to them, or a myriad of other reasons. The thing that stands out to me as odd is that previously if I got the stir crazy moods it could take days to get out of the moods. Lately, all it takes is a good nap and some dinner....or maybe a walk. Yep. I'm old.

Almost summer!

2010-05-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

10. Ten is the number of teaching days left in this school year. On the look back, even with the few bumps I've had this year, it has been infinitely smoother than last year. I feel more confident in my abilities (though I do still get the feeling ...occasionally...that I'm a sham and just pretending to teach) and I'm more confident that my students are actually learning and retaining the knowledge /skills I'm helping to equip them with.

That being said....Please God, let this next two weeks go by quickly! Right now the seniors are on my last nerve. I'm sure it's a case of senioritis, but most of them are currently not passing....and I don't have high hopes of their research papers will completed (well) by the due date.

But I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. Maybe they'll stop wasting their time whinning and start furiously working? This is the first block of classes, in 2.5 years, that has stressed themselves - and thereby me- this badly.

File under TMI

2010-04-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

My body is changing and I hate it. I understand that as women.........hell, as a human, as we age our body has to adjust and change. I guess I never really thought much about it though. But now... It seems like every day I'm finding something new that is changing, that reacts differently, that wasn't the way it used to be. On the not most important, but most annoying scale is my new found irritability. I get annoyed. A lot. And boy howdy, fast. Things that I used to be able to write off and / or ignore, now stick with me. I find myself growling and holding grudges for things that truly have no effect on me. I'm sure the change is something hormonal, as it gets worse during my period. This is a big change! I was so proud that I could say my personality didn't really change.....but I can't say that any more.

*sigh*

Add to that lovely new things like changes in my skin (dear God will I ever stop having acne?) and a new found sensitivity to caffeine.........I'm so not a happy girl right now.

Actually, that's not right. I'm just cranky and irritable because it's 1125 pm and I'm usually dead asleep at 930. I'm actually quite tired, but I can't get my brain to shut up and I blame the combo of nap, exercise, sex, and caffeine. My processors just can't figure out what they are supposed to do with that much stimulant and have decided that driving me batty is the best course. Which pisses me off to the point that I want to cry because I can't sleep now, which likely means I'll be dead tired for tomorrow and there are things I want to be awake for ( I won tickets to a matinee at the symphony). Gaaaa!!!! See what I mean. That paragraph was meant to be about how I'm not really angry but instead I'm now in tears.

Stupid body.

Minor Victory!

2010-02-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

Woot! I achieved minor victory today by reaching one of those silly, completely arbitrary goals. I've been working out consistantly for the last two months. It wasn't really a New Year's resolution...more of just a decision to not be soft, squishy, and have an ass that was shaped like my sofa. I've been working out with the WiiFit Plus, yoga tapes, walking, light weight training at the school gym, and even occasionally running. Something is paying off. Clothes are looser. I can feel the muscles where before it was just squishy.

I didn't really have a goal though. To not be sofa shaped doesn't give a lot of detail. I didn't have a specific number/ weight in mind...except to be under 200. Instead I chose the completely arbitrary goal of moving my BMI from obese (I know I was on the low side of obese.....and I know the BMI is a flawed system...most Olympians are considered obese too.) to just plain overweight. I hit that today!

If you haven't seen the WiiFit chart, this is basically what a person would see every time they weighed in. This isn't my chart...obviously I'm not a male. But it is a good image to show you why my achievement was a silly goal. Yes, it does mean less weight and better health, but really the part that got me all excited was the validation of seeing that little blue arrow and line move from within Obese at the top to Overweight. Now, if only the Mii would somehow show the loss of 10 lbs. on it.

Inner Granola Girl Strikes Again

2010-02-07T15:16:00.001-07:00

I like the Earth. I like the world I live in. I wish I was more connected with the Earth. I try, admittedly in little ways, to do this as often as I can. I'm aware of my carbon foot print. It could definitely be better, but right now the commute to work is a necessity. At home we recycle. In fact, most weeks we produce twice to three times as much recyclable materials than we do actual garbage. While we haven't moved to growing our own foods yet, we are conscious of what foods we are eating and what's in them. (It's become a bit of a joke to see exactly how many different kinds of sugars / corns are in foods we aren't buying.)

Lately, I've been thinking about things like this. Some of it was brought on by random events and some is pretty superficial...but I'm still thinking about it.

One of the things that I'm really interested in is the "No 'Poo" movement. At first I was confused by the name, but that is easily remedied. It stands for no shampoo. The fundamentals behind the movement are that commercial shampoos are filled with chemicals that are actually do more damage to our hair than we expect. In fact, most of us use these shampoos and conditioners to solve hair damage issues. But they are actually making them worse. There are also environmental factors to take into account...such as plastic containers. Also, a person can save money by using baking soda and apple cider vinegar over buying new shampoos and conditioners.

I don't know about that, but I do know that my hair is pretty severely damaged. I did it. First blond, then pink, then brown cover up. Ouch! The damage is making my hair break easily, knot up severely, and just generally feel icky. I've been nearly desperate for help. I've considered chopping it off and starting from scratch, but I really like the length and cut of my hair right now, so that's not an option. Teel thinks I shampoo my hair too often. After much research, I agree. I don't know if I could completely go no shampoo, but I do know that I don't like products/chemicals in my hair. Never have.
So my plan right now is to cut out the everyday shampoos. I can't give up showering every day (yes, I know that wastes a lot of water, but I limit my time and its my indulgence.) but I can go to washing my hair every other day. Sort of. My first baby step is to go to washing only my bangs and part on the days off. Those areas get the oiliest. My hope is that once I'm used to washing my whole head less....and if it is actually showing improvement on the health of my hair, I'll go fully to less and less shampooing. Eventually, maybe, I'll go to no 'poo.

One of the things I liked the most about all of the "no 'poo" websites I looked at was that people/ commenters were more than willing to say when it worked and when it didn't. I especially liked that for people who tried it and didn't like the out comes there wasn't a angry don't do it comment in the bunch. People were reasonable, explained what worked or didn't, and then explained what they were doing instead. This is refreshing and boosts my confidence in the movement. Also, I really like that none of the people who tried it went back to commercial shampoos. Some did talk about natural shampoos - usually filled with herbal oils. Even this gives me hope. If I try it and just absolutely hate it - I am a granola girl at heart, but I was brought up in the world with shampoos and conditioners - I can still find ways to help my hair and world.

Here's to happy, healthy hair!

Bunny!

2009-12-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Hey! Did you see this? I made Bunny. I crocheted this amigurumi version of my favorite web-comic character. For a first try I am very happy with the results. He's been sitting unfinished on my shelves for a couple months now...but on Christmas eve I finally got some googly eyes for him. Perfect!

He's a little surprised here...I didn't warn him about the flash.

Here's a better shot. Less shocking and with better light. You can see he's a tiny lil Bun...but I'm sure he's already plotting world domination!

Comedy!

2009-12-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

In news completely unrelated to drama.....I'm really enjoying Spaced. It's an older tv show....as in 1999/2000. It's written by and stars Simon Pegg....Simon Pegg before America figured out who he was.
Season one was a bit hard for me to get into, but season two is just plain hilarious! It made me realize that I don't watch a lot of tv comedies any more. Which I think says something about American comedy, but season two is chalk full with pop-culture, dark horse, Buffy references and whole loads of other giggles. You should Netflix it. if you haven't already.

Unintentional - unwanted evangelism

2009-12-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have a variety of friends who have a variety of religions...and so I have to ask these questions: How do you feel when you receive a Christmas / holiday card that espouses the beliefs of another religion? For example, do you pagans feel pressured if you receive a card with a Star of David on it? How about non-Christians receiving a card that includes a bible verse? Does it bother you? Would you say something about it? Or is it simply seen as a nice holiday gesture from a loved one, friend, etc?

I've recently come up against this problem. A few weeks ago Teel and I sent out Christmas cards to family and friends and later I sent out emails, with similar designs and messages, to others. I certainly hadn't meant for them to be evangelistic or preachy.....just a reminder that I love those receiving the cards and that I was thinking about them. In response I got several unexpected responses. My mother sent a Christmas card back that went over the top with bible verses and then followed up with a series of emails that explained that she felt she could no longer send me the silly snowman card she had intended. I certainly never wanted this to happen! I don't mind getting a card covered with verses, but I did not want her to change her behavior because of a card. If she wanted to send a snowman card she should have....I also received responses that boiled down to people feeling that they have to change how they behave around me....that by my becoming Christian they are not sure what they can talk to me about....or that I may be judging them. Some included snarky comments about my trying to convert them.

This is shit.

I don't want you to change who you are. I love you for who you are. I don't want you to treat me any differently than you did before.

I didn't mean to offend you, or preach to you/ at you, or send you some other message. They were simply cards to show I was thinking of you.

I don't know.

2nd Anniversary!

2009-12-01T05:00:00.001-07:00

Teel and I have been married two years!

We've been together for three!

Last year, for my birthday, Teel gave me a wonderful book ~ Six Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak. Based on Hemingway's famous six word story, these are stories from celebrities and everyday people on the topic of love. Here are a few of my favorites:

Love plus laughter: happily ever after. ~ Dan Goggin

Offered my heart; he embraced it. ~ Sue Kimber

Kissed many frogs. Finally found prince. ~Lacie Cannon

He always stirs my chocolate milk ~ Sarah Thornburg

And my turn:

Midnight cuddles to show his love.

and

He promised me 100 years married.

Here's hoping for another 98 wonderful years! (at least! )

Bollywood-"Thriller"

2009-10-31T09:55:00.001-07:00

Apparently zombies move in fast forward when in India.

Thinking about arguments...

2009-10-02T06:06:00.002-07:00

A comment my sister-in-law left on Facebook got me thinking. She was commenting on an argument that Teel and I were having. I get the feeling that in her eyes the only thing we do is argue.

I don't like arguing. And to some extent I do see it as it could be an indicator that something is wrong. I've known couples who argued all the time and in the end were worse off for that. I've also known couples who never argued once but still got divorced over differences.

That being said, I also don't live in a fairy tale world where falling in love and getting married automatically means all your problems are solved. Teel and I are individuals with separate brains, hearts, emotions, and daily lives. The things we experience and think about are often quite different from what the other sees/feels...even in the same circumstance. This is bound to lead to some differences of opinion, right?

Back in Laramie, with the ex, I was never in an argument. Never. Sure, we went places together, we bought a house and dogs, we......I wasn't allowed to see friends, couldn't leave the house in case he called, was expected to be waiting happily for him to get over his latest drunk bender......but oh, no we never argued! I strongly believe that if I had argued with him earlier, if I had fought for myself and my feelings / beliefs my world would have been much better earlier. Instead, because I was unwilling to argue with him....because I had come to believe that arguing was bad and that if we didn't fight we must be alright (and I desperately wanted us to be alright) I was put into serious mental and physical danger.

A few elevated voices now and again, a harsher word, and those strong emotions are nothing compared to that. They could even be seen as a positive change. We are making each other instantly aware that there is a problem. We are trying to figure it out. We've never let the argument carry on. We deal with it there and then. And in the end we do love each other and are willing to work on whatever conclusion we came to.

Sure, there may be a healthier way to go about expressing ourselves and maybe someday we'll get there. But I cannot and won't feel guilty for fighting for something I believe in or feel strongly about. I also won't stop fighting for our relationship.

Something's in the air

2009-09-10T20:57:00.003-07:00

I've been strangely productive today. Normally, productivity wouldn't be anything worthy of a blog post, but like I said this is strange. Lately, I've been anything but productive. I'm pretty sure I even blogged about how frustrating it was....or something vaguely related to my non-productivity. School started back up recently and that was enough to kick my daily routine into gear. I do have to prepped and ready for daily classes. Plus, being capable of getting things done means less time doing non-fun things on weekends. This is different though. From the time I woke up, throughout the school day, even this evening at home...I've been getting things done. I don't quite understand it, but I'm not going to toss this gift away. I was able to get up this morning and make a series comments on various blogs. I even made a couple friends on a new book forum. School went smoothly. I was able to finish all of my planned school tasks plus some - which is awesome in my opinion. I don't often get even my planned tasks done daily. At home there has been more blog comments, a book review, this post, t.v. shows enjoyed....and there is still time! I just needed to get this day down in mandyland history. *bouncy bouncy*

And where was I?

2009-07-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago there was a conference I'd love to go to, but alas, as far as I know it is for romance novel authors. I am not one of those, just a humble reader. At the conference Harlequin gave away some quite nifty tote bags. Several different women, who I follow on blogs, hosted contests that included books and the coveted bag. So, I entered.

And then promptly forgot to check the results.

Until today when I recieved an email with a link to this blog post: Lusty Giveaway!

That's right....I'm a winner! I'm so going to carry all my teachery things around in that bag!

And Charolette.......thank you again for notifying me!

New Blog

2009-07-16T10:12:00.004-07:00

So, after the last post and several more days of discontent, I decided to do something about the situation. I was not going to sit around mopping for the last couple weeks of vacation. No! I took stock and realized that other than a strange compulsion to categorize/organize things that cropped up this summer, I was actively participating in two things. One is the computer game FreeRealms, which while fun, not something for me to obsess over. The other is my love of books. I read all the time. Not a surprise from the English teacher really, I know......but actually, from the way people talk and/or comment when they see my book shelves and reading lists, I must read more (like metric butt tons more) than most. Teel refers to me as "a reader" said with the inflection one would use when calling someone a breeder, a gay, a werewolf, a biker...whatever.

Example: " You're such a....reader."

It's hard to express the sentiment in words, but it's true (and in fun). I am a reader. So I started a book blog. I was listing and giving short reviews (for some books) on goodreads. I'm going to continue that, but some books just deserve more attention (good or bad), and let's face it...it's easier to snark when I have more than 140 characters. ;)

Please, check the blog out. Follow if you want to. Comment as you will. She Reads

Flaws (Much rambling below - read at your own risk)

2009-07-06T11:46:00.003-07:00

I've been quite selfish, needy, and lacking will-power lately....most of this summer in fact. I'm not sure what's behind it, but I do know my will-power or lack there of has not stretched out a hand to help me overcome it. I just keep wanting things. I want a new dress, need new clothes, want to go out to eat, want to travel, want to spend money on silly things...just want. I also want to loose weight, want to exercise more....want. Unfortunately, I can't. I know that's a stupid argument. I should just do it. If I worked out more regularly, if I lost the weight....I know. I KNOW! That doesn't make me any more capable of overcoming my lethargy.

A small bit of the problem stems from contradictory wants. For example: I want to lose weight, but I also want that bowl of chocolate ice cream. I've tried the ignoring the yummy food route. I've tried the limiting the amount of goodies that can come in the house. If they aren't here I don't want them, but that's not fair to Teel. I've even tried using one as a reward for doing the other. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm not the 210-215 lbs. I was when I moved to Havasu, but I'm only a little under that and have lost all semblance of muscle tone. I'm squishy all over. Gah.

Another silly frustration is my hair. I'm pretty sure that for the first time since high school I'm sporting what can only be called my natural color. It's bland. It's dull. I don't like it. I don't want to dye it either....not really...mostly because I want a fun, dramatic, not found on humans naturally color. I can't do that though (I tried blue at the beginning of summer. It had faded out completely in two weeks and had stripped my hair of natural colors too) with school only a month away and the corporation I work for being under the impression that colorful hair is not professional. I'm also battling wanting to go get my hair cut....short. Will power is helping me out here, a bit, but only through a bribe/goal. It's hot here, as in I'm sweating sitting on my sofa in the air-conditioned house hot. My hair is long and therefore irritating in the hotness. It's in my way. It's flat and sticky and messy and really the only thing I can do (beyond killing basic grammar and punctuation rules) is pull it back. I'm not actually a fan of that. I do like it being long though, because occasionally it plays along and allows me to do some nifty hairstyles. Also, for some strange reason, I don't want to cut my hair. I'd like to see how long I can get it, or if I'm correct in thinking it will not get any longer than my shoulders. It's an odd thing.

I'm aware that these are mostly superficial and unnecessary things to worry about...to even be fretting about. They, however, are making me quite irritated with myself, and I keep seeing bits of that irritation seeping into my conversations and dealings with other people. I don't want to taint them, bother them, upset them just because I'm being a whiny brat. I keep apologizing to Teel, as he's getting most of it, but I can't seem to stop doing it. He's been remarkable nice, but still...

I don't know how to get out of this apathetic lull. Maybe having spilled some of all over the Internet will be the kick in the pants I'm looking for. Or maybe it'll go into the pile of things I don't know how to fix.

School Year Wrap-up

2009-06-01T22:24:00.003-07:00

This year 90 of the graduating seniors were my students. I'm so proud of them! Throughout the year they had many challenges. Life got in their way so many times. Some sailed through. Some crawled through, clinging to every last point they could. They all deserve their diplomas.

Until graduation night I had lost site of this accomplishment. There was too much drama and strife. I couldn't see the good from the bad. Thanks to the students I understand what I'm doing again. After graduation the seniors are allowed to pass out cards. Just generic cards that are printed at the school, but they write notes on them and them give them to the teachers/staff they chose. I received five. Not a large number, but two stood out. The first said that he'd never worked so hard, in a class, in his life. And the second came from an ELL student saying thank you for helping him find ways to connect to the literature that he has nothing in common with (i.e dead, white males). These two are awesome! The students also give out an award. This year they nominated me as Teacher of the Year. I know it's mostly just a popularity contest and that for at least 90 of the 120 graduates I was their make it or break it teacher, but this still rocks! I'm flattered that they thought enough of me and my class to vote for me. Now, I have a nifty certificate (framed and everything) that needs to find a place to live.

The end result made the whole process much more bearable, in the long run. I hope the things those 90 learned from me stick with them and them out in the future. They are bright. They deserve it!

Dear God,

2009-04-16T06:02:00.002-07:00

I'm really tired of being ill. Whether it is stress, itchiness, allergies, asthma, colds, or even reactions from too many frackin' drugs in my system.....I'm tired. Please let me feel better, soon. Please?

Adopt My Classroom!

2009-03-22T19:51:00.002-07:00

We could use your help.

So terrible they're great!

2009-03-13T19:21:00.005-07:00

Teel brought me home a gift....Twilight branded conversation hearts.

These are poorly timed marketing overkill. Instead of being released during Valentines (when the overt stalker messages would seem less creepy) these came out with the dvd release. Ummm, ok, that's a marketing choice from the same people who thought "I like boys who sparkle" t-shirts were a good idea.

But awful marketing gimmicks aside, the candy is just terrible. I love, love conversation hearts. They are my favorite holiday candy. These come in a variety of strange flavors like passion fruit, tempting apple, orange obsession, and secret strawberry. That's right...purple, red, orange, and pink to compliment the sparkly colors. The orange is truely the only edible one.....and purple? Well, purple just has to be experienced on it's own.

My taste buds kind of hate me now.

Love is

2009-03-13T05:59:00.003-07:00

...having a husband who will make you a pumpkin pie (or two) on a whim after you off-handedly make the silly suggestion that one would be good.

MMmmmmm, pumpkin pie for breakfast.

Save The Words

2009-01-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

Every year dozens of words are unceremoniously dropped from dictionaries around the world. Now all those words are looking for a helping hand, a personal lexicon that will take them in and give them shelter. There is no monthly charge, just the piece of mind that comes from knowing you are helping our language survive beyond slang and abbreviations.

I adopted misqueme, today. Misqueme means to displease or offend.

http://savethewords.org

Gettin' mah geek on

2009-01-25T19:56:00.003-07:00

For my birthday, Teel bought me tickets to the Phoenix ComiCon. This was the first ever "con" I've been to, excluding academic things. It was exciting...a chance to let my inner fan-girl out without worry. While much of the con was focused on geekery not of my flavor (i.e. comics, graphic novels, anime, etc.) there was still plenty to keep me entertained. I met Frank Beddor (author of Looking Glass Wars) and talked meshing established stories with reinvisionings. I got a great vampire t-shirt from Little Vampires! And had a fun conversation with Wil Wheaton about following him on Twitter. I think the weekend was well spent indulging in geekiness that took me too long to accept in myself

Yes, that's me and Wil Wheaton. And yes, we are wearing our cool t-shirts.

Adventures in Birthday Land

2009-01-19T10:37:00.002-07:00

First, this one isn't about my birthday, but I keep giggling about it so I thought I'd share. New evidence has been found that supports the conclusion that my brain does not work they way many other peoples do. Yesterday, while on the way home, I noticed a sign. It reads: "Ray's body and paint" Using my deductive reasoning skills and only a small amount of gray matter, I am aware that this sign is probably for an autobody shop. That is not however how my brain initially interpreted that sign. I read the sign and was immediately given a mystery movie like scenerio where there was a body on the floor (Ray by the name stitched onto the pocket of his shirt) and several dozen spilled paint containers. I can almost hear the dialogue. From the gruff, out of sorts Chief of Police looking at a picture of the scene: "What the hell is this?" Smart assed rookie: "Well Sir, Ray's body and paint." Ok. I know it's terrible, but it had me in giggles at the time and still does.

Alright, birthday stuff. I learned three very important things this Saturday. One and two are so closely related that I'll let you untangle them. I learned not to procrastinate when planning an event that is important to you or one that people will have to drive for. When you do you smack into things like not being able to get reservations or even random seating at the restuarant you've chosen. I was undecided until late Friday evening as to whether I really wanted a birthday party or not. When I decided it took several hours to decide where. I sent out the invites and let procrastination kick in. I didn't call the restaurant for reservations. I didn't think it was necessary. Turns out it was. Luckily, everyone involved was willing to take a side journey to another restaurant. I was especially lucky to have Teel around. After letting me apologize and wrap my embarrassment around my mistake he pulled the internet out of his pocket (iPhone) and with the help of Zoe (foodie friend extraordinare) located a restaurant not too far away that would take a last minute reservation. Yay!

The third thing I learned is that my friends/family are amazing. I'm sure I already knew this, but the reminder was well timed. Even with my close to temper-tantrum pouting my family supported me and hung in there. My friends, who could have been really put off by having to drive all over town, were gracious and accepting of the changing plans. The whole thing could have gone so very wrong. Instead it became an adventure with delicious end results.

I still haven't quite accepted 32, but I'm much closer than I was. If this whole weekend taught me anything it was that just because something is bad, it doesn't have to become terrible. 32 is starting out rough, but if I focus on the good I am sure it will only get better.

The oldest I've been, yet.

2009-01-11T18:44:00.002-07:00

I don't exactly know why this birthday is shaping up to be harder than the others, but it is. I started feeling it a couple weeks ago. It's hard to explain. A bunch of little things - things that really shouldn't weigh this much - are all ganging up to make me feel old. Some of them are silly things.....like facing the associations I've made with old people going to bed early and seeing that I'm usually asleep before 10, even when I want to be up. Others are not so silly, but still shouldn't be dragging me down. I feel really old right now. Some of it is mentally old. It's been noted recently that I've started forgetting things, and these aren't little oops forgets but rather I should be remembering this without a problem, but have forgotten slip ups. It is somewhat scary. If I'm this bad at almost 32 how will I be at almost 62?

I don't actually want to turn 32. There are so many things that I want to do....or that I wanted to do before now. Not that I've had the time, money, or opportunity to do them, but on my fantastical 'what do I want to do with my life' list there were some big things. There are some things that are getting harder/farther from my ability to accomplish them.

I've never really been one to worry about my age and what it meant or what it was supposed to make me. That is most of what is making this birthday so odd. Why am I worried about this? What makes this number any different than the last?

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T21:28:00.001-07:00

Little Surprizes

2008-12-21T08:27:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning, after sleeping most of the day yesterday thanks to some lingering illness, to find that Teel had been up most of the night baking, cleaning, and decorating. Our crazy silver tinsel and fiber optic lights tree which had been standing naked in the corner near the stairs was lit and happy with its glass baubles hooked onto its branches. There were loaves of pumpkin bread and cranberry bread cooling in the kitchen, and he was busy typing away at his blog like these didn't mean anything. It is a wonderful surprise and somehow makes me feel all Christmas-y when I haven't really this year. I don't think this morning could have been any better.

One Year

2008-11-30T20:04:00.004-07:00

One year ago, today, we were married.

The most important thing I've learned this year is that love, with patience, dedication, trust, silliness, worry, stress, friendship, and understanding makes for a memorable first year of marriage.

Thank you for loving me.

~squee!~

Winner!

2008-11-29T19:47:00.001-07:00

I'm blowing my own horn here, just a bit, but I am incredibly proud of myself. I took part in the NaNoWriMo challenge and succeeded where I hadn't thought I'd ever be able to. 52,037 words.

November is National Novel Writing Month and aspiring writers are challenged by the non-profit organization to write a complete 50,000 word novel in exactly a month. The idea is to turn off the inner critic and just write. The emphasis isn't even on story. Plot is something that can be tweaked or even added later. The challenge is just to get yourself writing, to be one of those that can cross "Write a novel" off their life-long to-do list.

When Teel invited me to join him in early October, I thought he was crazy. I have had a few short research type essays published, but the idea of writing a book didn't really ever cross my mind. Actually, most creative writing just isn't my style. The few times I had to write fiction were some of the most painful I've encountred. By Halloween I had decided that I would go to the midnight kickoff and if I came away with anything resembling the beginning of a story I would stick with it and try to write something worth reading.

I've been writing all month, luckily there were a couple long weekends off in the school calendar so I could get some dedicated writing time, and I'm still not sure if the draft I have finished is anything at all like a readable story, but I finished. For not knowing what I was writing about the first night I sat down to write, this is a major accomplishment.

The challenge is terrifying. Will I be able to write anything? If I can't or if I fail does that mean I'm just not a creative person? If I'm not a creative person why am I even trying this? The process is grueling. I really don't feel like writing tonight, but if I don't that puts me about 16,000 words behind and I've already taken three days off. But the ending is a perfect, glowing, warm fuzzy.

For now, I think I am just going to bask in the glow of winning and not think about my novel for a while. Perhaps in a few months I'll want to go back into it and do some editing, major amounts of editing are needed to make it readable. After that who knows. But, at the very least, I believe I will be taking up the challenge again next year.

Heartfelt wishes

2008-11-27T09:21:00.001-07:00

Everyday you are in my thoughts. Possibly without your knowing it you are influencing my feelings and decisions. Whether I see you every day or only speak to you over emails and texts, I consider you part of my life. Thank you for being an integral piece of my world.

Transformations

2008-11-16T17:04:00.003-07:00

I should be writing my novel for NaNoWriMo (I'll tell you about it later.). Instead I am procrastinating by redecorating my blog again. The pretty, simple, white template was just that white...too white. It was actually somewhat daunting to post with it. With such an emphasis on the words, it was hard to want to post anything that was the equivalent to mental fluff, which is a staple of my blog.

So how do you like it?

The Gimmees

2008-11-10T18:45:00.002-07:00

Usually, I try to keep the I-wants and the Gotta-have-its under a fairly tight reign. I am aware that I like strange toys. I fell in love with the UglyDolls years ago (long before they became popular here). Friday I found the newest oohh-I-really-REALLY-want that toy...

Sock Zombie

So very cute! And the hanging one would be lovely in my bedroom or dangling from something in my classroom.

To mark history

2008-11-05T21:48:00.002-07:00

Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Barack could run. Barack is running so our children can fly.

Next time can we skip the song and dance?

2008-10-17T23:28:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure, based off of the crazy nerve-wrackingness that is occurring, that doctor's should be required to give more information than, "Something has changed. You need another invasive procedure." Ugh. Fuck. What? Why? What changed......will doing this procedure for a second time solve it? Should I be worried about cancer? Something else? Is this going to cause problems if/when I decide to become reproductive. Stupid people not answering questions due to it being a phone call. At least the appointment is in early November. Only two or three weeks to continue going crazy and making myself nervous.

Save the Dragons

2008-10-17T06:56:00.001-07:00

Adopt today!

Remembering Matthew

2008-10-12T13:06:00.001-07:00

I've known for weeks this day was coming up. Messages in emails, on Facebook, through texts....messages of love and rememberance for those still alive...those who lived through it.

I only met Matthew Shepard twice. Both times were quick greetings as we rushed to various classes or clubs. I remember thinking, at the time, that sooner or later I'd find out more about him. We had several friends in common. Then the world changed.

News came in that a UW student had been found beaten in a pasture....then it became known that it was someone we knew. For the first time ever I saw my friends, a very out-going, community centered, activist group of people hold their breath. What could be done? What was going to happen? Would our little pocket of individuality and safety chisled out in the corner of Wyoming be destroyed? Why would someone do this?

When the news broke that Matthew was gay the air seemed to change. Vigils were held at the hospital, praying for healing. Several groups on campus took up arms...and armbands to show support for Matthew, his parents, and the community. My mother was calling me daily for reports on my best friend's (and others she'd met) welfare...and to warn me about doing to much with them. She was afraid that the conservative Wyoming mentality would kick in and be aimed at me for associating with homosexuals. I tied several ribbons onto my backpack, car, coat...anywhere I could find and took to answering the phones and running media interference for Jim.

Under the deluge and assult of international media attention I watched my town pull itself up, gather the loose pieces, and make a decision. Hate is not a Wyoming value. I watched people who had only inklings of the good they could do become strong, focused, inspirational leaders.

I wasn't involved with the first counter-action against Rev. Phelps' protest shows, but I do remember the encouragement passed on to our angels from Laramie residents and police officers....You're doing good, keep it up.

Ten years later, Matthew's mother feels that not a lot has changed in the world. Only a handful of states have hate crime laws in place...many of those specificially do not include gay, lesbian, or transgender citizens. People are still scared. People are still abused, attacked, persecuted for being themselves. However, I feel a lot has changed. I would never wish the death Matthew experienced on anyone, but his death ushered in a boat load of self-awareness. A small Wyoming town learned what it means to stand together. Many individuals learned that one voice can make a change. Many learned what it means to be themselves. Maybe we haven't achieved the monumental changes that Matt's death illustrated a need for, but I know deep in my heart that God feels the same way....You are doing good. Keep it up.

Politics

2008-10-07T21:41:00.002-07:00

I don't often get political on my blog. The latest "go vote" post was about it. But, after reading this article I just couldn't resist sharing. For a variety of reasons I am firmly behind Obama. McCain's choice of V.P. was at first confusing. Now it is just nauseating.

Somewhere along the way I learned about the struggles of women in society. Somewhere along the way I learned to think for myself. Somewhere along the way I became interested in the inter-connectedness of everything on this earth.

I don't understand how she could have become governor without being aware of federal policies, supreme court rulings, and basic world awareness. But, maybe I'm thinking too much like an educated, birth control using, feminist. Maybe her homey phrases and I-must-be-right-because-I'm-cute nose wrinkle are enough?

Please shoot me now.

Plurk the vote

2008-10-05T14:49:00.003-07:00

Over on Plurk (kind of like Twitter, only not) there is a contest running to see who can get the most people to vote in a mock presidential election. I thought I'd try as I know a whole bunch of responsible, involved voters. If you'd like to participate...vote.

Do you know what today is?

2008-09-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Arrrr! Tis Talk-Like A Pirate Day, it tis. Ya best not be a lily livered coward, hidin' yer true colors. Hoist the skull & crossbones matey!

Go Bulldogs!

2008-09-11T20:15:00.001-07:00

I forgot how much I love school spirit. The energy that came off the kids during the pep rally (The first one in the history of the school, btw.) today was crazy fun. It was hard to settle down enough to want to teach the class afterward. I have to go to the opening football game, for numerous reasons including some players who'd be heartbroken if I wasn't in the crowd, tomorrow night. I'm not really a big football fan. I only have a vague idea of what's supposed to be happening on the field, but if the team / crowd has as much energy as the kids did today....it's going to be a blast!

Ode To Joy

2008-08-15T18:20:00.001-07:00

On a day plagued by allergy/sinus headaches this was perhaps not the best video to watch, but the Muppets make me smile.

Jumping through hoops

2008-07-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

1. Official UW transcripts ordered - check
2. Official PVCC transcripts to prove taking of AZ Constitution class ordered - check
3. 15/45 hours of SEI classes completed - check
4. Official copy of WY teaching certification - check
5. Passing score on AEPA tests - check
6. Completed application and fee mailed - check

Now, I just have to wait to see if the Arizona Dept. of Education will accept my Wyoming certification and issue me an Arizona certificate. Let's hope!

Ode To Joy

2008-07-24T14:20:00.001-07:00

On a day plagued by sinus/allergy headaches this was perhaps not the right video to watch, but The Muppets make me happy....so there.

I. will. survive.

2008-07-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

Diet as a word has a bad reputation. Its connotation implies a lack of foods. Anything yummy and sweet is out on top of a severly limited amount of the foods that can be eaten. It implies hunger, craving denial, and possibly not really losing any weight at all.

About this time last year I took part in the Curves "weight loss challenge." It was a diet different from any I had ever been on. In its entirety it is only six weeks long. The theory is if you haven't lost the weight you want (they suggest only aiming at 10 lbs per six weeks) by the end of the time then this isn't for your body type. The only real way to mess up on this diet is to not follow the meal plan. Even if you cut out the work-out, for most people the change in diet is significant enough that you'll lose weight.

I like this diet for a variety of reasons. First, I lost 15 pounds last year and have kept it off. Second, There is so much food to eat I never feel hungry or denied. Usually. However, the first week is the hardest. It is the transition week...skipping the fats, sugars, and carbs to move to the protein, dairy, and fruits/vegetables.

I am smack in the middle of week one. This means that the yummy goodies I want I can't have for at least two more weeks. Which means the cravings are monstrous. I. want. cookies.

My Super Power...

2008-07-12T23:23:00.001-07:00

Today I became a teenage boy. The evidence of this feet, you ask...

Slept until noon, ate, watched t.v., ate, played Rock Band, napped, watched t.v., ate, and will probably go to bed in the wee hours of the morning.

Changes

2008-07-09T22:29:00.001-07:00

Obviously, I'm moving things around a bit. The cute argyle background was just too muted and I'm hoping that the revamp will help to settle any urges to abandon blogging altogether. I'm not completely finished yet...links or something similar may be added. What do you think?

To blog or not to blog?

2008-07-09T17:16:00.001-07:00

I'm pondering the fate of this blog. Lately, it has just been tedious to come post anything here. Oh, I still come in out of habit. I come to check reader stats....people are still reading, but not in the numbers they once were, and they certainly aren't commenting. But, comments aren't the reason I blog, right? There is a lot of work on this blog and on the previous version of it. There is something like four or five years of writing, thoughts, and sharing archived on these blogs. Deleting seems like such a waste.

Some thing is lacking here though. I know my content has not always been highly intellectual and that I tend to run a more random collection than other bloggers, but lately even the fluff doesn't seem right. It's just filler now; taking up space that important ideas and issues could fill. But they don't. Maybe I just don't have anything important to say? Or I'm in a rut?

I keep looking at other peoples blogs, personally done, and know I don't have the skills to create blogs like theirs, but they are so much more interesting. Areas for content, areas for fluff, for pictures, for work, for creative endevors. Do I have those? Am I full enough to fill multiple areas and have a more "adult" blog or is general fluff my niche?

Also, lately, I'm very easily annoyed with the fluff. Yes, I want to share it. Yes, I find it interesting. But do I actually care? *shrugs*

Road Trip

2008-06-30T16:35:00.001-07:00

Yeah, yeah. I haven't posted in two weeks. Wanna know why? We were on a
road trip vacation. We drove through New Mexico, making sure to spend
some geek time in Roswell and Los Alamos, before high-tailing it
through Colorado. We spent a few days in Laramie and Cheyenne to visit
my family and friends. There was a brief detour on our way out to
Utah...Pride in Denver. From Pride we drove straight to Moab to hike in
Arches National Park. Yep, we went hiking in the middle of the desert.
While we had computers with us, usually there was no connection....and
I was enjoying the time not being connected. There are pictures
though....lots....wanna see?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/49503079126@N01/sets/72157605910112857/show/

This week's WTF!?! moment brought to you by Sweden

2008-06-30T12:13:00.001-07:00

Alright, I understand where the school is coming from with this decision...the same place that makes American elementary schools have rules like 'Any student giving Valentine's day cards must give one to the entire class' or 'If you are bringing birthday treats to school, bring enough for everyone.' But, come on, seriously? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7479758.stm

Maybe, I'm just being a bit grumpy today, but the words 'grow up' come to mind.

A sign that I live in a geeky household...

2008-06-11T17:12:00.001-07:00

The cat has developed an after bath ritual where he curls up on the t.v. center's self just above the playstation. When the PS is on the shelf above is toasty warm....great for drying wet kitties.

I didn't realize this was an established routine until just a few minutes ago. He was as towel dried as he'd let himself be, jumped out of the towel, and went straight to the PS shelf.

If only he'd learn that the on button is there on the right. He'd be set. Instead he's on the ground in front of the games, glaring at me.

I like to drum.

2008-06-07T19:49:00.001-07:00

Well, sort of....I like to drum in Rock Band. Which is quite opposite from reality where I can't play any instrument but love to watch/listen to guitar players. I quite excited about this game, which is odd really. I'm pretty sure I've played more Rock Band (3 out of 4 parts - I haven't tried bass guitar yet) in the last week that we've had the game than any other video game....ever. It's so much fun. My only frustration is that there comes a point after playing for a while where my brain decides to stop reading the notes I'm supposed to be playing and switches to muscle memory. At which point there is no hope of me finding a beat anywhere.

Side note: The bands that "play" behind notes are just silly. I'm currently watching Teel practice guitar and the band consists of a Kiss-like metal rocker, a bubblegum colored steampunk dude, a guy who looks like he waltzed out of a truck stop, and a cute punk girl with purple pigtails. In what world would these people be in the same band? Oh yeah...Rock Band.

Wanna play?

Sci-fi geeks?

2008-06-02T20:51:00.001-07:00

Ready to get your geek on? Wil Wheaton passed me (via his blog) this nifty link to a collection of older sci-fi shows. Have fun!

Books

2008-05-31T12:26:00.001-07:00

Mackenzie posted this to his blog the other day and I thought that I'd join in. What books have I read that are generally considered unread? These are the top 106 books tagged "unread" at LibraryThing.

Bold the ones you’ve read, underline the ones you read for school, and italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
Catch-22
The Silmarillion
Don Quixote
The Odyssey
The Brothers Karamazov
Ulysses
War and Peace
Madame Bovary
A Tale of Two Cities
Jane Eyre
The Name of the Rose
Moby Dick
Emma
The Iliad
Vanity Fair
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Blind Assassin
Pride and Prejudice
The Historian: A Novel
The Canterbury Tales
The Kite Runner
Great Expectations
Life of Pi
The Time Traveler's Wife
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies
Atlas Shrugged
Foucault's Pendulum
Dracula
The Grapes of Wrath
Frankenstein
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Mrs. Dalloway
Sense and Sensibility
Middlemarch
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Sound and The Fury
Memoirs of a Geisha
Brave New World
Quicksilver
American Gods
Middlesex
The Poisonwood Bible
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Dune
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
The Satanic Verses
Mansfield Park
Gulliver's Travels
The Three Musketeers
The Inferno
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Fountainhead
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
To the Lighthouse
A Clockwork Orange
Robinson Crusoe
Persuasion
The Scarlet Letter
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Once and Future King
Anansi Boys
Atonement
The God of Small Things
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cryptonomicon
Dubliners
Oryx and Crake
Angela's Ashes
Beloved
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
In Cold Blood
Lady Chatterley's Lover
A Confederacy of Dunces
Les Misérables
The Amber Spyglass
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Watership Down
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation
The Aeneid
A Farewell to Arms
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
Sons and Lovers
Possession
The Book Thief
The history of Tom Jones
The Road
Tender is the Night
The War of the Worlds

Lazy is taking over

2008-05-27T12:57:00.001-07:00

I had grand plans for today that included things like going to work out (I'm officially a student at PVCC...so I can use their gym now), calling all sorts of places to get various bits of life figured out, cleaning through my drawers and closet to purge clothes that I'm still not wearing but am storing for some reason, giving the kitty a bath, and putting in more work on my crochet (this baby blanket has taken me about 3 months longer than planned because I keep putting it down).

What I've done instead is call all sorts of places and got the various bits of life figured out for the current time, read a short story by my husband, call the gym and discovered I needed an orientation, and laid on the bed with my laptop and kitty. I'm so not motivated. Laying in bed and reading all day sounds like a much better plan than the previous one. Although, I may need to move to forage for food later, my stomach is rumbling.

On a side note, does anyone know of anywhere cheap (but not scary) to stay at in San Francisco? Or do you know someone who'd let us park in their driveway/crash on their sofa? Better yet...know anyone who wants to buy $700 worth of interesting books and art so that we can take a bit of a vacation to San Fran (for the robogames) and then Wyoming (to see family & friends)?

For the person who needs this....you know who you are...

2008-05-26T11:31:00.001-07:00

If you need anything...distractions, hugs, whatever...I'm just a call away.

*hugs*

Summertime Hair

2008-05-25T09:39:00.002-07:00

Me - all pink

Teel - crazy patterned three colors

Dear Parents:

2008-05-19T16:53:00.001-07:00

Please do not call to yell at me. Yell at your child. If their work is not completed and turned in I cannot give them a good grade. Your senior has known since mid-block (4.5 weeks) that the research paper was due and that it was worth a major amount of points. You and your student both know that he/she is up for graduation. If my class is your students only class, he/she will have to pass it to graduate. Not turning in the research paper is a great way fail.

Oh, and just so you are aware, yelling at me will not make me change my mind.

Your opinion wanted.

2008-05-12T18:36:00.001-07:00

I really want to dye my hair pink. Not just a few streaks, but all over bright pink. I can't do this until after school is over...a whoppin' two weeks. But...I don't know. Is it too silly? Will I look good with this? I want to do this for fun...it's summer time hair. I don't want to be that strange girl with pink hair that's too old to have pink hair. Anyone want to help with the dye-job?

Go Speed, Go!

2008-05-09T22:38:00.001-07:00

Speed Racer is fun and bright, campy and impossible, fantastic and totally covered in Awesome Sauce!

Sanity? None here, thanks.

2008-05-07T20:28:00.001-07:00

I'm not domestic. No, really. I've managed to only cultivate cleaning skills as a way of surviving and being clean in the world. I'm not one of those people who enjoys it. I try to clean up after myself, but do occasionally fall prey to laziness. I've been known to leave dirty dishes in the sink...sometimes for a couple days. I'm not always the quickest at cleaning up spills and crumbs. Random side not here, upon reflection messes such as dirty clothes or piles of books/paper/things bother me infinitely less than kitchen messes. Something with the connotation of the word kitchen implies clean.

When I feel extremely stressed my body does strange things. Some times I'll become physically ill, or my body does a depression like shut-down need for sleep thing. Apparently, I also can become crazy. I'm pretty sure I'm just stressing about stuff that is now everyday...and currently out of my hands...but it seems to have built up to the point where I have to now let the crazy out.

I've been cleaning the kitchen in insanity driven spurts for the last two nights. Realistically, if I was dedicated or obsessed enough I'd get it all done in one night...but... Last night it started with needing to find clean space to put a loaf of bread down. The counter was packed with dishes (some clean some not so) and crumbs. Everywhere. I don't know how to explain. Suddenly, just wiping the crumbs off was not enough. Things needed to be moved, washed out, thrown out, put away.....while Teel was busy preparing dinner.

Random thought number two: I think some of this may be latent nesting. I'm still getting used to this being my house. I'm aware that I've been using the kitchen for six months now, but most things in the kitchen aren't mine...or don't feel like me yet. I didn't get to pick what goes where (that was already established) I don't always know what actually is where and often the other people who live here can't tell me. My favorite answer is "open things up." I don't know where things go and am somewhat bothered by the amount of things that just seem to find permanent homes on the counter (not appliances, but things).

Tonight, the cleaning frenzy included some other counter space and the stove top (which is currently soaking in 409 while I'm typing). Oh! And the outside of the trash can was wiped down....all started because I went back to clean the sauce pan from dinner.

*****

It's official. The insanity was spotted by others. Teel: "Are you alright? You are acting a bit crazy." Me: "It's icky!"

It's Star Wars Day!

2008-05-04T08:25:00.001-07:00

May the 4th be with you!

Happiness is reading

2008-04-26T19:50:00.001-07:00

Teel and I went to the Friends of the Library book sale. For just under $30 we walked away with 36 books...hard cover and soft cover, fiction and non-fiction, adult and children/teen. We really should not be spending money on books, but when we can get 36 books we both are interested in for the same price as one hardback book, passing up the sale seems silly. We both went a bit silly in the sci-fi section and I grabbed several books to use in my classroom - poetry, drama, and grammar resources.

The sale continues tomorrow and unlike many book sales there will still be tons of good books available. I'd highly suggest taking a trip over tomorrow.

Now, to find space on our shelves, which are practically a library in their own right.

Fandom: My Buffy Obsession Continues

2008-04-18T18:15:00.001-07:00

Recently, I discovered that there was a season 8 of Buffy....in comic
book form. I had ignored the comics originally (they came out the same
time BtVS was airing) because they seemed silly and didn't have much in
common with the episodes I was watching. (Don't correct me here, let me
live in my sheltered not-wanting-to-be-too-geeky world, please.) But,
there is a story arc in a newer set of comics that is the continuation
of Buffy. It picks up shortly after Sunnydale's destruction. My
adoration of Joss Whedon just keeps going.

Anyway,
I'm reading the comics on the 'puter for the moment, thanks to a
husband who indulged my geekiness and helped me set up a comic reader.
When money is more stable I'll look into buying them for real.

Now time to geek!

Trivial Fun

2008-04-17T06:15:00.002-07:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mandyfish!

Pacman was originally called mandyfishman!
Mandyfish is the sacred animal of Thailand.
The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only mandyfish.
Mandyfisholatry is the mindless worship of mandyfish!
The condom - originally made from mandyfish - was invented in the early 1500s!
Mandyfishocracy is government by mandyfish.
More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in mandyfish!
Apples are covered with a thin layer of mandyfish.
Mandyfish has four noses.
If you blow out all the candles on mandyfish with one breath, your wish will come true!

You watch documentaries, don't you?

2008-04-15T18:13:00.001-07:00

Arizona tv watchers have the opportunity to view a documentary about Meth tonight at 630 p.m. It should be on all local channels. This is a huge national campaign...and should be interesting.

Also tonight King Corn will be on channel 8 at 10 p.m. Do you realize how much "corn" you actually eat?

MMmm curves!

2008-04-14T20:39:00.001-07:00

Alright, so I'm not actually worried about the massive amounts of sugar/chocolate in the house.......but it is awfully nice to read an article that has a similar outlook (on the subject of weight and curves) as I do.

In Praise of Food

Charlie Chaplin is the win!

2008-04-14T19:42:00.001-07:00

...that being said the universe conspired against any dieting going on in our house. There is now a 7lb. chocolate cake (won during a full-contact round of "cake walk" at church) sitting in our fridge alongside 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies (also won at church), a tub of chocolate/marshmallow ice cream, and a rather large box of cupcakes that Heath brought from somewhere. Is it possible to gain weight just from being in the same general area?

Oh..also....is anyone using Twitter now? I've signed up again...so maybe with people to talk to I'll stay interested this time. Anyone?

Better Day!

2008-04-10T17:17:00.001-07:00

Feeling better....no grumping at people....no being on edge....no being down on myself. Such a good thing!

Blah

2008-04-09T17:06:00.001-07:00

I don't know. I'm tired I think. It wasn't actually a bad day...in fact quite the opposite, but for some reason I can't seem to be able to keep from slipping into a pissy mood. I'm working hard to nit pick stupid little things and just let everything go. Breathe and relax. Maybe a book and bubble bath? I will not dwell on things such as deciding whether or not to worry about the fact that it appears that my blog has been found by some whom I'm not entirely comfortable knowing they are reading. Nope. That's not what I'll do at all. Instead, I'll focus and the cheesy wonderful tv show Teel's put on (sci-fi society based in that so futuristic 2007) and maybe have ice-cream for dinner.

Woot!

2008-04-07T17:58:00.001-07:00

My husband is the coolest!!! He, being made of internet, sent me a link (well a bunch of links actually) to a website that will enable me to easily post to both livejournal and blogger when I'm posting the same content (which I usually am). Giving up one or the other was not really an option, but I'm not dedicated enough to go for my own site.....this just might be the perfect solution!

And entertainingly, the posting site does this nifty half-page window so I can have a post open and a webpage at the same time. Handy that!

http://www.scribefire.com/

A few quick things

2008-04-06T23:44:00.004-07:00

1. My medical stuff appears to be over. Everything checked out well and the doctor believes she got all the bad bits. Yay for no cancer!

2. Teel's working really hard lately at getting marketing set up for his books and art. Anyone have any connections with people who crave contemporary art and/or interesting fiction? I'm trying to be as helpful and supportive as I can be, but my skills are sorely lacking in the marketing department. I'm just going to have to stick with my sugar-momma role for now........which I'm sure that is the first time a teacher has ever been called a sugar-momma (finacially)

3. However, my father is being scarily helpful. He bought four paintings from Teel this weekend. This is great.........and extremely odd. Not odd because because Teel's work is terrible (the opposite actually) but because my 55+ year old, cowboy father doesn't seem the contemporary art type.

4. Harley cat is slowly but surely getting used to having people around at all times of day. He's pretty social now, even coming out to the living room when everyone's here.

5. There are only seven weeks left of the school year. This is both great and frustrating. The great is that soon it'll be time for a two month break. Not that I don't love teaching, but a break would be really nice right now. Frustrating is that within seven weeks I'll have to pack up all my stuff and find storage at home for it. Wee!

6. I have a ball of yarn and a baby blanket crochet pattern which I just can't seem to make myself work on, which is really sad because I'd love to send it on to my brother and niece.

7. I really wish we had enough money to pay everything off and be able to live happily off the grid...preferably at Arcosanti or someplace similar. Teel and I went on Saturday. I love this place! I would be very happy living in a community like this ....in pretty much any/or all of the stages of development. Also, I am reminded of Jim and Tessa in both the Arcosanti and Cosanti spaces. Maybe it's the bells...or energy......I miss you!

8. Pictures I took at Arcosanti while ignoring our extremely nervous tour guide.

favoritest dialogue, evah!

2008-04-02T18:29:00.002-07:00

Here is possibly the best chapter, in "a love story," that I've read...in its entirety.

"Is there something wrong with your food?"
"No, I'm just not very hungry."
"You're going to break my heart, aren't you?"

Even if the rest of the book isn't as good, I think I may adore it forever. Yay for Christopher Moore!

A Quiz...

2008-03-27T20:44:00.001-07:00

Do you have an inclination for BDSM?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Masochist

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.)))

Pain just feels good. Nothing like someone hurting you or hurting yourself in some cases. Often sadism goes hand-in-hand with this practice because the two personalities work well together. And some people like both.

Masochist

82%

Switch

79%

Bondage

75%

Experimental

71%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur

68%

Submissive

64%

Sadist

39%

Dominant

36%

Degradation Lover

21%

Vanilla

18%

Potter Puppet Pals

2008-03-24T14:54:00.001-07:00

food cravings

2008-03-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I get a craving for something strange or unidentified. For the last couple hours I've been seriously craving......something. It obviously isn't in my kitchen, which makes it harder to satisfy. I don't know. I think I want something that's somewhat starchy and salty. Maybe something like french fries with salt and vinegar (think fish 'n chips) or .....yeah I don't know. Usually, I can talk my cravings into being a want of chocolate....even when that's not what's really being craved....especially when there is a huge tub of chocolate icecream in the fridge. Oh! Or maybe one of those big soft salty pretzels with mustard?

Them's fightin' words.

2008-03-20T14:30:00.001-07:00

We just bought Quiddler (You all know it, right?). It's great...fun...words! It's like scrabble but on cards...kinda. Anyway, in the aftermath of the first game my husband declared that I will just always be 10% behind him (in score). While this does seem to be the way of it so far (in Scrabble type games) he did draw a very definitive line. I just can't conscience let that go unchecked.......or at least unchallenged. It may end up that he's right, but he doesn't get to declare always when there are still games to be played. War, I tell you. or at least practice for me

And yay for feeling better......now if only I could do something about the horniness. *sigh* Doctor's orders having me being a really good girl for a few more days. Bleh.

What did you do on St. Pat's day?

2008-03-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

I didn't go out with friends, I didn't paint my face green...or drink green drinks.....or go to any sort of overly social anything. Why not? I stayed home, usually curled in a ball, due to a doctor's appointment today. About this time last year I had some serious OB/GYN issues and am still dealing with them. First it was just some abnormal cells. Then it was a procedure to make sure the cells hadn't changed. They didn't....at all. Since they didn't clear up on their own another procedure was needed. Today, the doctor used an electrified circle of wire to cut the cells off my cervix. Hopefully, this got all the abnormal ones. If not the next step is pre-cancer treatments....which I'm really hoping against.

On a side note, it is extremely unnerving to not be able to feel anything (they numbed me with lidacaine (sp?) and to see the machine that is being used start smoking.

This is not the type of electrical play I enjoy.

Molly Ann!

2008-03-14T20:00:00.002-07:00

List: Things I will do if I'm ever a vampire

2008-03-12T22:53:00.000-07:00

1. I will not pick off friends, family or neighbors of the Hero one at a time. This annoys the Hero and drives him into action.
They'll still be there when he is dead.

2. There are thousands of sick people who want to be vampires. Why pick someone who doesn't?

3. The Hero will come armed with holy water, a cross and a stake. I will come armed with a 5.56 mm assault rifle and grenades. If the Hero has to cross open ground, there is no better way to reach out and touch someone than with a sniper rifle.

4. When biting women to make them slaves, I will bite them in out-of-the-way locations such as the inside of the thigh, the lower part of the breast or other location not requiring painfully obvious alteration of clothing or ridiculous accessories to conceal.

5. I will equip my home with a marvelous device called a burglar alarm with an automatic dialer. It will be difficult for the Hero to kill me while under arrest for attempted breaking and entering.

6. My coffin will be concealed and will be a plain wooden box. The elaborate oak coffin with gold trim resting in the basement will be equipped with claymores [mines] designed to shred the body of anyone who opens it.

7. I will wear a watch and verify what time sunrise is every day.

8. The formal attire with cape will be reserved for special occasions. Jeans and a t-shirt will be fine for everyday wear as they are less noticeable.

9. I will wear _white_ clothing, which does not set off my pallor as obviously as black.

10. If I can't avoid wearing black all the time, and acting wierd, I will go to bars which cater to that sort of clientele. It would make it more difficult for the hero to pick me out of the crowd.

11. I will not engage in a battle of wits with the Hero. I plan on killing him anyway so what's the point?

12. I will not dismiss a Hero as a mere mortal because he does not have my centiuries of experience. Even inexperienced losers can get lucky.

13. There will be no windows, doors, elevator shafts or air vents accessing my Hidden Lair that have any sort of access to the outside and which sunlight can be directed down using mirrors.

14. If there must be windows they will be painted over and backed with steel plate so the Hero will face a rude surprise when he throws something through it at sunrise.

15. When I take the Hero's True Love to make her my concubine and eternal slave I will not show her off to goad the Hero into making an attack. That would goad the Hero into making an attack. She will be tucked away in a quiet room watched over by my loyal servants until the Hero is dead.

16. I will not transform children. Their bodies will stay the same age forever while their minds grows older and they will become whiny and disobedient.

17. I will not use bug-eating morons as servants. Pretty females dressed in little French maid outfits are more visually appealing and can also distract the Hero.

18. While castles and mansions are traditional and have a certain flair, the two bedroom bungalow is less noticeable in suburbia.

19. My home will not have wooden furniture, the legs of which become sharp, pointed sticks at inopportune moments.

20. I will have one of my Entranced Subjects constantly observing the Hero and his party. I always want warning if they go to a lumber yard.

21. My home will have mirrors but they will be located in places such as the bathroom where I am unlikely to be at the same time as the Hero or his friends.

22. I will not change into a bat, scuttle up walls, fly or hypnotize people when there might be witnesses.

23. All my concubines will be fully aware that they are not to seduce, attack or even bother visitors staying in the castle unless they have express consent from me.

24. The blood in the refrigerator will be stored in a tomato juice container and there will be ordinary food in there for camouflage.

25. I will get a voice coach and change my name. "Hi, I'm Bob," is less suspicious than "I.......am......Dra. ....cu.....la."

26. I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.

27. I will spend no more than 10 years in any one location and when I move it will be somewhere distant. I will not return to a previous home for a minimum of 80 years. Anyone who previously knew me will either be dead or senile.

28. I will be able to explain porphyria and why that unfortunate genetic condition is the reason I cannot go out in the sun.

29. I will force myself to look concerned and not hungry when someone accidently cuts himself.

30. A Kevlar vest with a ceramic trauma plate located over the heart is a rather trendy fashion accessory.

31. I will take seriously anyone who approaches me with a water pistol and a confident expression.

32. Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and shot in the knees, handcuffed and chained to the wall where they will provide lunch for my concubines.

33. Crossbows, spears, arrows and other antique weapons with wood or large blades will be banned from the castle. There is nothing wrong with a fine collection of rifles and handguns.

34. I will carry at least a .38 on my person and become proficient in its use. If the Von Helsing is holding me at bay with a religious symbol or I am unable to use my vampiric powers for other reasons, I can always open fire.

35. I will be a strict atheist, so the hero will be forced to use a copy of "The Skeptical Inquirer" or "Das Kapital" rather than a Bible, delaying him considerably...

36. Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic is not a major spice at that restaurant.

37. I will not take blood from people who take cocaine, speed, or other addictive drugs.

38. All servants, concubines and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.

39. Servants, concubines and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.

40. When recruiting new blood, so to speak, I will first enslave those who might notice odd behavior in my future concubines. Therefore, I take the teacher at the all-girls school first.

41. All future concubines will be screened and have complete background checks. Those with relatives named Van Helsing will be removed from consideration. The irony is not worth the risk.

42. Nothing says the Hero can't be a cripple or be suffering massive trauma from a shotgun blast before he becomes lunch.

43. I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines and assorted slaves are for. Besides, the True Love is probably tastier.

44. All future concubines will be stripped searched for rosaries, crucifixes and garlic before I approach them.

45. All cute but spunky kids in the community who express an interest in the supernatural will be identified and observed for sudden changes in behavior.

46. I will be an upstanding but otherwise undistinguished resident of my community and will make sure that I cultivate enough friends that I will be warned of anyone spreading malicious rumors about me.

47. Since it will be the last thing they would expect, I will hire a Mafia hit team to take out the Hero and his friends. Let's see the crucifix protect them from an Uzi.

47a. And if it does, I will immediately leave town (having been spying on them from several blocks away via a convenient hard-to-trace method of my choice).

48. All villagers will be encouraged to send their children to the schools I will secretly finance. After a few years of modern education they will dismiss the legends told by their grandparents, several of which will undoubtably be ways to destroy me.

49. I will ignore all attempts to appeal to my former sense of humanity. I don't have any. That is why it is former.

50. I will remind myself that I am immortal, not indestructible.

51. All concubines will save the loose, transparent flowing silk dresses for special occasions. I'm a modern sort of guy so I like a woman in leather and Kevlar, which provides more protection so she lasts longer in a fight.

52. Although firearms are useless against me and the concubines they work quite effectively on the Hero and his friends. Therefore all concubines will be armed and taught to shoot. They will use hand and fang in attack only as a last resort.

53. All bodies of former meals will be destroyed in a manner which will make the absence of blood and bite marks impossible to identify.

54. I will not send bodies or parts thereof of former friends, relatives, mentors or lovers to the Hero in order to demonstrate my complete mastery over life and death.

55. I will not demonstrate knowledge inappropriate for someone of my apparent age.

56. I will not begin a vendetta against someone who has destroyed a fellow vampire that I was fond of. They have clearly demonstrated they have the ability to destroy me.

57. More vampires means lower prey ratio: I will carefully consider if I really want more of us running around.

58. All the cutlery in my house will be either stainless steel or plastic. No silver. (Besides, I might accidentally cut myself.) But ideally, the steel will have a special surface that makes it *look* like silver, so the Hero will waste his time trying to stab me with it.

59. I will keep important bits of my home flooded with a non-flammable poisonous gas at all times. Not needing to breathe is a usefull skill.

60. As cancer isn't a particularly large concern for me, I'll wear asbestos clothing.

61. I will make lots of long term investments.

61a. With the great wealth I get from that, I shall endow a genetics program aimed at producing cows whose udders secrete human blood, or a palatable imitation thereof. Then I can go to McDonalds instead of bothering the hero's womenfolk.

62. While it may offend my dignity, whining incessantly will indicate that I am the protagonist, and will enable me to avoid the attentions of Heros.

63. As cute as the Vampire Slayer is, there are other girls just as cute who are not capable of destroying me.

64. I will not engage a "Vampire Slayer" in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.

65. If I find out that there is a "Vampire Slayer" living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages confered by that particular location.

66. When faced with a gang of spunky kids determined to stop my evil schemes, I will consider surrender. Or mailbombs.

67. I will put on lots of makeup and fur, and howl at the moon every once in a while. This should confuse the hero, and will probably enable me to get away with a silver bullet or two.

68. I will not consider property crimes beneath my dignity. Carjacking is a good source of income, and I don't have to worry much about the possibility of something going wrong.

****I wish I had been creative enough to come up with this list; luckily the owner of this page did.****

Welcome to the world, Molly Ann Miller!

2008-03-06T22:26:00.001-07:00

At around 5:15 this evening I became an aunt! The littlest Miller put her mom (and subsequently her dad) through hell to get here. 39 hours of labor, 1 hour delivery, several stitches for mom, two extra nights in the hospital chairs for dad, and a bruise on her head later - Molly came into the world at 5 pounds 15 oz. Apparently, she likes the numbers 1 and 5. I can't wait to see her and will post a picture as soon as I have one!

**Edit** Molly needs prayers, good thoughts, healing energies...whatever you have. She was born with pneumonia in one lung and according to nurses (while she's looking better today) last night her lips were turning blue and she'd fall asleep before she could nurse.

Brain esplodes

2008-03-06T22:20:00.001-07:00

Last night I sat in on a religion class hosted by Focus on the Family. Tonight we attended Richard Dawkin's speech over his book The God Dillusion. Ya know....because I like hearing intelligent people make gross generalizations. Anyway, if anyone wants to have a religious conversation with me...and can present a totally different point of view...my brain could quite likely esplode. A lot. Just sayin'.

Silliness

2008-03-05T20:57:00.001-07:00

I tried using Mandy with this, but its answer was rather longwinded and nowhere near as much fun as this one. Plus, I really enjoy that it's powered by beatings and monkeys.

A post about February

2008-03-03T19:44:00.003-07:00

I know I haven't been actually posting anything of much content lately....well for most (if not all) of February. But there is/was a reason for this: the Februaries. The second month is the hardest. It isn't a fresh and new beginning; it only carries one small holiday from otherwise everyday everyday. This is the month that changes patterns into ruts and homebody tendencies into antisocial behavior. February and I don't have a good standing.

This year was a bit different. Somewhere near the middle of the month I realized how exactly un-awful it has been. I didn't want to jinx the goodness that was blossoming, so I just didn't post anything of any content. It turned out for the best. February was filled with my first visit to the Renaissance Fair, ownership of a pair of sandals that will constantly keep my feet in a state of rope bondage, a geeky-lovely valentine celebration that included my getting a Phoenix library card and checking out the latest Anita Blake novel, and lots 'n lots of small amusements along the way. Sure there were little downs, there always is, but not nearly anything worthy of the terrible Februaries.

The second month did get in a blind-side parting shot, though. I've spent most of the last week down with the flu....or maybe it was the plague....or just a horrible death cold. Either way it sucked. Luckily, Teel has a similar terrible movie addiction and I was able to get lost in some awful horror films. Currently Teenage Space Vampires is distracting me. It's great! The UFO has it's own gargoyles. OMG!

Wouldn't it be great to see these here?

2008-02-20T18:34:00.005-07:00

A campaign to battle homophobia in secondary schools in England has had astounding success. It was launched by John Barrowman as part of Stonewall's Education for All program. The signs, buttons, stickers (which have been accepted by all 5,000 secondary schools in England) has become so popular that the campaign is putting up 600 billboards across England.

the link