Mandyland

In news completely unrelated to drama.....I'm really enjoying Spaced. It's an older tv show....as in 1999/2000. It's written by and stars Simon Pegg....Simon Pegg before America figured out who he was.
Season one was a bit hard for me to get into, but season two is just plain hilarious! It made me realize that I don't watch a lot of tv comedies any more. Which I think says something about American comedy, but season two is chalk full with pop-culture, dark horse, Buffy references and whole loads of other giggles. You should Netflix it. if you haven't already.

I have a variety of friends who have a variety of religions...and so I have to ask these questions:  How do you feel when you receive a Christmas / holiday card that espouses the beliefs of another religion? For example, do you pagans feel pressured if you receive a card with a Star of David on it? How about  non-Christians receiving a card that includes a bible verse? Does it bother you? Would you say something about it? Or is it simply seen as a nice holiday gesture from a loved one, friend, etc?

I've recently come up against this problem. A few weeks ago Teel and I sent out Christmas cards to family and friends and later I sent out emails, with similar designs and messages,  to others.  I certainly hadn't meant for them to be evangelistic or preachy.....just a reminder that I love those receiving the cards and that I was thinking about them. In response I got several unexpected responses.  My mother sent a Christmas card back that went over the top with bible verses and then followed up with a series of emails that explained that she felt she could no longer send me the silly snowman card she had intended. I certainly never wanted this to happen! I don't mind getting a card covered with verses, but I did not want her to change her behavior because of a card. If she wanted to send a snowman card she should have....I also received responses that boiled down to people feeling that they have to change how they behave around me....that by my becoming Christian they are not sure what they can talk to me about....or that I may be judging them. Some included snarky comments about my trying to convert them.

This is shit.

I don't want you to change who you are. I love you for who you are. I don't want you to treat me any differently than you did before.

I didn't mean to offend you, or preach to you/ at you, or send you some other message. They were simply cards to show I was thinking of you.

I don't know.

A comment my sister-in-law left on Facebook got me thinking. She was commenting on an argument that Teel and I were having. I get the feeling that in her eyes the only thing we do is argue.

I don't like arguing. And to some extent I do see it as it could be an indicator that something is wrong. I've known couples who argued all the time and in the end were worse off for that. I've also known couples who never argued once but still got divorced over differences.

That being said, I also don't live in a fairy tale world where falling in love and getting married automatically means all your problems are solved. Teel and I are individuals with separate brains, hearts, emotions, and daily lives. The things we experience and think about are often quite different from what the other sees/feels...even in the same circumstance. This is bound to lead to some differences of opinion, right?

Back in Laramie, with the ex, I was never in an argument. Never. Sure, we went places together, we bought a house and dogs, we......I wasn't allowed to see friends, couldn't leave the house in case he called, was expected to be waiting happily for him to get over his latest drunk bender......but oh, no we never argued! I strongly believe that if I had argued with him earlier, if I had fought for myself and my feelings / beliefs my world would have been much better earlier. Instead, because I was unwilling to argue with him....because I had come to believe that arguing was bad and that if we didn't fight we must be alright (and I desperately wanted us to be alright) I was put into serious mental and physical danger.

A few elevated voices now and again, a harsher word, and those strong emotions are nothing compared to that. They could even be seen as a positive change. We are making each other instantly aware that there is a problem. We are trying to figure it out. We've never let the argument carry on. We deal with it there and then. And in the end we do love each other and are willing to work on whatever conclusion we came to.

Sure, there may be a healthier way to go about expressing ourselves and maybe someday we'll get there. But I cannot and won't feel guilty for fighting for something I believe in or feel strongly about. I also won't stop fighting for our relationship.

I've been strangely productive today. Normally, productivity wouldn't be anything worthy of a blog post, but like I said this is strange. Lately, I've been anything but productive. I'm pretty sure I even blogged about how frustrating it was....or something vaguely related to my non-productivity. School started back up recently and that was enough to kick my daily routine into gear. I do have to prepped and ready for daily classes. Plus, being capable of getting things done means less time doing non-fun things on weekends. This is different though. From the time I woke up, throughout the school day, even this evening at home...I've been getting things done. I don't quite understand it, but I'm not going to toss this gift away. I was able to get up this morning and make a series comments on various blogs. I even made a couple friends on a new book forum. School went smoothly. I was able to finish all of my planned school tasks plus some - which is awesome in my opinion. I don't often get even my planned tasks done daily. At home there has been more blog comments, a book review, this post, t.v. shows enjoyed....and there is still time! I just needed to get this day down in mandyland history. *bouncy bouncy*

A few weeks ago there was a conference I'd love to go to, but alas, as far as I know it is for romance novel authors. I am not one of those, just a humble reader. At the conference Harlequin gave away some quite nifty tote bags. Several different women, who I follow on blogs, hosted contests that included books and the coveted bag. So, I entered.

And then promptly forgot to check the results.

Until today when I recieved an email with a link to this blog post: Lusty Giveaway!

That's right....I'm a winner! I'm so going to carry all my teachery things around in that bag!


And Charolette.......thank you again for notifying me!